I remember this day. We were swimming in the Red Sea in Israel. Floating to be more exact. It’s the weirdest feeling. The high salt content means you can lay back – and relax – without sinking.
At first, as we walked into the water, we were unsure about how to go from standing to floating, but with the simple lift of a foot, we just popped up and onto the surface. And there we were – floating, relaxing. It was one of the most unnatural, unexpected feelings I’ve had. It went against the usual rules of gravity, even compared to floating in a normal ocean or pool of water. I remember the sun was shining, we were laughing at this weird sensation, we were relaxed.
I’ve been feeling a little anxious.
To be honest I’m not an overly anxious type of person – except when it comes to my family, my boys. When something is hard in their life, or they are in an unsafe place – emotionally or physically, I feel it, and deeply. Of anything in the entire world, I want my boys to be OK. They are most important to me above all else. And when I can’t control the situation, or make it right again, or fix it, it’s the hardest for me to handle.
I know…I know they are greatly loved by God, that He is with them always, that nothing, nowhere, no-one can change that – and that has always been a source of comfort for me and the reason I can let them live the adventurous lives they do. I can let them go instead of holding onto them. But I’ve felt this place of comfort slipping. I’ve been worrying. I haven’t been able to make things work out for them the way I’d like.
3 of our 4 boys are overseas right now, and have decided to stay put, hanker down and see this virus through. We’ve discussed together the implications of this versus coming home to New Zealand, and we are OK about it…
…mostly!
Except, one of the boy’s situations has been more worrying than the others. And I have been feeling it. I know I’m anxious when I wake at night thinking, and anxiously praying, and the other night I was awake often. I didn’t know how to advise him or what the best decision for him was. In the early hours of the morning, I felt a very strong and insistent “Be still and know that I am God”, meaning, “it’s Ok, trust me, he’s Ok, I’ve got him”. God needed to remind me of this, and I have responded in turn by reminding myself this truth over the last few days. But with further complications, the stillness of this truth has been slipping again.
Last week I read somewhere that “Be still and know that I am God” basically means I can relax – I mean if the God of the Universe who loves my boys more than I ever can, is watching out for them, even in situations that can be potentially hard, even when things are going terribly wrong, they’ll be OK. Right?
To relax is easier said than done! To relax is to be calm; to put my feet up…just like in the Red Sea.
So, I’ve been purposefully taking myself back to the Red Sea.
I learned a few years ago is that God’s love for us is like the ocean, and we are in it. And whether we are sinking, (life is hard), or swimming (life is good), we are in the ocean – fully surrounded by love, fully wet, fully in – in Love. I could go under, get overwhelmed, feel like I’m drowning, but I am still in Love. Even if I panic, loose control, get a mouth full, it is all within Love. Love that is there, that is all that is needed to meet every situation, that never leaves or fails, that walks alongside, that is constantly and always working for our very best.
I love this photo. I loved the feeling of floating and of relaxing this day. I was in this ocean, surrounded by its waters and relaxed. I’m making this a mental picture of where I want to be emotionally and spiritually today in this world gone virus-crazy.
“I am in-Love and out of it I will not go!” C.S. Lewis