Call her “Not Loved”…

God, You are angry.

Anger, the emotion of betrayal. Anger from injustice. Anger from deep hurt. Anger aroused from what has become of the very best of Your creation.

It feels like the rest of Hosea 1, is Your expression of anger through the deep hurt and injustice You feel.

I have often wondered after reading this chapter in Hosea, about the love chapter of 1 Corinthians 13 of the New Testament. It is a chapter that gives the description of who You are as God is Love: love is patient, love is kind, love keeps no record of wrong, and so on. What I read here in Hosea, is that Love has the right to be angry. When perfect whole-hearted love is shown, when it has been patient and kind, never having exhausted its qualities of selflessness, protection, trustworthiness, and perseverance, and never ever failing to love … yet the recipient mistreats the Lover, betrays and rejects Him, shouldn’t love be angry? Not angry in a violent, out of control fury, more an indignation, which implies that feeling of deep and justified anger at having been so wronged. It does say in 1 Corinthians 13, that love “is not easily angered”, so it would not be erroneous to say that a lover, having given perfect love, has the right to be angry over the way the brokenness in someone cannot allow love to be received or returned. 

God, You name the children of Hosea and Gomer.

   

The first child, a son, is named Jezreel (Hosea 1:4, NIV) after a place of massacre. Bloodshed and great evil had been done in Jezreel (2 Kings 10, NIV). It is a place symbolizing how far Israel had gotten in departing from You. Hosea’s son was named “God will disperse” as a foretelling of what would eventually come to the house of Israel – becoming lost amongst the nations. Their wickedness had caused You so much grief and heartache.  This son’s name represented the evil acts of a nation who had departed from intimacy with You and prostituted themselves with other lovers.

Lo-Ruhamah is the second child born, a daughter named, “not loved”. She is given this name as the emotional reaction to the rejection, deep pain and anger You feel, and over the wickedness, and the continual return of this nation to its other lovers. For, You said, “I will no longer show love to the house of Israel or forgive them” (Hosea 1:6, NIV). Her name literally means to be ‘outside’ of the gentle, compassionate, affectionate love that You had for this people. Your original created intention was for Israel, and all humanity to be intimately included ‘inside’ Your love. How sad to name a child, “unloved” and “outside”.

The third child, Lo-Ammi, is another son. His name means, “you are not my people and I am not your God” (Hosea 1:9, NIV). His name would remind people everywhere he went, of the grief and anger You felt towards this nation and the sense of abandonment from a people who turned away from You and chose to not acknowledge You and all You had done for them. A sad name to bear!

The naming of these children saddens me when I compare it to my own experience. I remember the naming of our children. We spent many hours deciding on them. They were planned and named because we liked the name and because it had some kind of family significance. As the child grew within me, I remember spending hours thinking on who this one would be, what they would look like, what their personality might be, who they would grow up to become. I thought on the deep love I had for them – my hopes and dreams and desires for them. The good things I longed for, for them – and the desire to shield them from hurt and harm. I prayed that they would know their God. And as I caressed them within my pregnant body, I had thoughts of love and well-being and hope. Their name became their identity long before they were born. Never once did it cross my mind to name my child to represent despair or brokenness or anger. Never once did I even consider giving them a name that they would carry with them always, that would speak of the heartache of the one that named them. I wanted good things and health and happiness to follow my children, not bitterness and sorrow. My children were conceived out of love and were named with expectation and joy and hopes and dreams.

I know this is not the way it has been for all children born. Throughout history, names have been given to represent the circumstances and situations that the child has been conceived and born into – some with hope for a better future in mind, but many out of the despair they felt and the terrible experiences that have been faced.

I have a beautiful friend who went through a marriage breakup. If that weren’t hard enough, she found out she had become pregnant to her husband right on the eve of the breakup. She lived through that pregnancy fearful that she would not love this child born in a time of great heartache and distress. This child grew within her in the hardest, most confusing, angry, desperate time of her life, and in many ways, the child represented the feelings and situation she found herself in. She gave her child a name which means “Love”, in the hope and desire that the feelings of love would follow the naming of her child once she saw her. And it did. This little girl is the delight of her mother’s life. Precious. Beautiful. Adored. From despair, fear and heartache came something, someone, beautiful, and greatly loved.

How broken the mother or father of a child must be to give a new life a name that represents heartache, where there are only feelings of despair and bitterness in the conception and birth of the child. New life represents hope and future, but to You, God, the birth of a new generation bought only further hurt and pain. Every moment of every day, these three children (these children of unfaithfulness – Hosea 2:4, NIV) bore the names that came from a heart totally broken, from despair and anger over abused love. Every day they walked, played, grew, and lived life with names that spoke of the emotional pain, sorrow, grief, and anguish You felt over Your people. God, this is an incredibly sad symbolic naming of the three children. That because of great wickedness and departing from You, because of the prostitution of a nation with other gods instead of intimacy with You, and the pursuit of other lovers over You, You call this people who were once invited to be included in intimacy with You, now outside of that invitation, “not loved”. (What would it be like to be outside of Your love?) And You declare that they are no longer Yours nor are You, theirs. It’s the response of a God, who is Love, whose action of love is incredibly patient and forgiving, kind and merciful, and yet is so broken-hearted, that in the injustice of it all, You respond in a very, what I consider, human-like way –

Don’t we feel the same angry response when we are unjustly treated and our love abused? God, You hurt this way too! We would want retaliation for the injustice. Out of deep hurt, we declare that we will no longer love them and that the pain they have inflicted and caused on us is too much to forgive. And, that we will no longer have anything to do with them. You hurt deeply too! It is an angry response, but not the true emotion of the heart where love is the root of this anger felt.

Yet, O thank You God that You are true and faithful to Your character, and You rename these children, “Yet the Israelites will be like the sand on the seashore, which cannot be measured or counted” (Hosea 1:10, NIV). In the place where it was said to them, “‘You are not my people,’ they will be called ‘children of the living God’. The people of Judah and the people of Israel will come together; they will appoint one leader and will come up out of the land, for great will be the day of Jezreel. Say of your brothers, ‘My people,’ and of your sisters, ‘My loved one.”’ (Hosea 1:11-2:1, NIV 1984).

Yet. This just provides my soul with such relief, for without it I too am completely lost to wretchedness. Yet! You are committed to me no matter what! Yet! You are faithful even when I am not! Yet! Your Love is greater than Your hurt! Yet! Your love cannot be withheld. Yet! Your anger lasts only for a moment (Psalm 30:5, NIV). In the same breath where it was said, “You are not my people”; You say, “they will be called Sons of the Living God”. My people. My loved ones. And Jezreel becomes a place where the marriage of Israel and Judah to their God takes place once more in a future time. God, You take that place which has been vile and ugly, and a people who had been dispersed among the nations, and reclaim the place and the people by Your grace and Your love, to You once more.

O, thank You, God, that Your love, loves beyond my unfaithfulness. That You draw me back despite me returning to prostitution time after time. That You declare me Yours though I continually depart from You and rip myself away from the unity and intimacy I vowed to You. That You love me despite my vilest adultery against You. I hurt You, God. I am one who carelessly and casually flaunts with other, counterfeit, lesser lovers who don’t care for me as You do. Instead of my eyes being toward You, my Bridegroom, I constantly look to other lovers.

Yet…yet…yet…

O thankfully, You reach down and reach out instead of withdrawing. There is nothing I, like Gomer, like Israel, like all humanity, deserve in this relationship. I am the whore. I am the harlot. I am the promiscuous one, I am Gomer, prostituting myself with many other lovers. You are the faithful one.

I sense today the pain – gut-wrenching, broken-hearted pain I cause You. Though I am thankful that You remain faithful and call me “Loved” and “Yours”, I know I too keep returning to other lovers for I am ruined and totally broken.

Yet…yet…yet, You keep inviting me back into Your love. How desperately ruined I am! How wonderfully loved I am! How faithful You are! This is Your story. The story of a God, heartbroken by our ruin, yet who is moved by love and does what it takes to redeem us!

Continued in next week’s blog…

 

[Hosea was a prophet of God to the nation of Israel. It is where much of this journey of love was awakened. His story is found in the Old Testament part of the Bible. Read more here.]

 

Your love is not good enough!

“God, Your love is not good enough!” Man.

Buried deep within this story of Hosea, is where Your heart is able to finally and honestly find expression of it’s deepest pain. It comes out amongst all the offense felt. You have said things hard to hear, but true, yet here is revealed the root of Your pain, “Like Adam, they have broken the covenant – they were unfaithful to me there” (Hosea 6:7, NIV). It must be the most somber, heartbreaking verse of Hosea, speaking the heart of all You are trying to say in this book, perhaps of all history. We have said through our words and our actions that Your love is not good enough. Right from the outset, we have rejected Your love, we have betrayed You. It is the heartache of the Garden of Eden.

The Garden. Eden means “delight”. The place of splendor, revealing Your glorious and majestic power, Your beauty and Your love. You delighted in the creation of this Garden. You delighted in all of its inhabitants. You delighted in the anticipation of relationship with the best of creation, mankind. You gave all of Yourself to this place, and to these ones declared, “very good”.

The Garden. The place where immortal God would dwell with mortal humanity in perfect union. Created for pleasure in relationship, these, the most complex of all creation were beings capable of mutual emotional connection. Though they had a beginning, they, created with souls, would have no end. For eternity they would commune with You and with each other. You would find delight in closeness with them. You would dwell with them and walk with them each day. Here in this Garden, You introduced all of who You are – Father, Son, and Spirit. Having been in perfect unity for eternity, You chose this moment to create humanity, for inclusion. Affording them intimacy in Your already perfect relationship, to give freely and abundantly of Your perfect love, firstly to Adam and Eve, then to all who would come from them. What was an intimate Three in One, was thrown wide open to embrace these ones to be part of everything You are. You didn’t have to, You chose to.

The Garden. It is a place of Your provision, where lovingly You met their entire needs – physical, emotional, spiritual, social needs – all fully satisfied in this Garden with You.

The Garden. You gave, and You provided. You cherished their existence. Shared Your creative wonders. Gave them purpose and responsibility, to rule over and care for this precious world You gifted to them.

But…

…they betrayed You.

The Garden. The beginning of humanity’s ruin happened here, and although it was just an apple, at the heart of the eating of this fruit was the betrayal of You and the rejection of Your Love. We regarded all You are and all You gave, as unsatisfactory, lacking and inadequate.

   

Everything You had created, everything You had given, the inclusion into intimacy that You offered, had been rejected. Your love, a completely satisfying, lacking nothing, perfect inclusive oneness, was declared not enough. God, You were abandoned by us.

Your heart is broken! How can this love be not enough?

All loves I have experienced do not and cannot in any way compare to that perfect, pure, unrestrained, intimate, inclusion and oneness of the love of You, three perfect beings. It is impossible to define this love and oneness of being that You are. Saint Paul tries. He describes it like this as he calls us to be like You, “being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose” (Philippians 2:2, NASB) 

Same mind – You, Father, Son, and Spirit, think the same
Same love – You love the same
Same spirit – You are the same
Same purpose – You work towards the same things
A perfect, unified, thinking and loving and doing.

You invite Israel into this oneness, talking about it this way, “I will give them singleness of heart and action” (Jeremiah 32:39, NIV). You offer them inclusion into this Perfect Love and togetherness that You experience every moment of eternity, but they, and we, rejected You, and in doing so, became utterly ruined. Our rejection and our ruin broke Your heart.

We are now in continual aggressive pursuit of intimate satisfaction because we were created for Your love and for inclusion in Your love, but having walked away, we have become so ruined that we pursue it in every other place than its Origin and Source. Your heart mourns the loss, “When I found Israel, it was like finding grapes in the desert, when I saw your fathers, it was like seeing the early fruit on the fig tree” (Hosea 9:10, NIV). Sweet and refreshing to a parched and thirsty mouth. The promise of delicious fruit – times of sweet fellowship together – pictures used to describe how You see us, and what You long for, are beautiful and innocent and pure, but they sadly turn dark as they highlight the comparison of what we have become.

“I will put my dwelling-place among you, and I will not abhor you. I will walk among you and be your God, and you will be my people” (Leviticus 26:11-12, NIV). Promises of love, a place of belonging, inclusion, intimacy, faithfulness, and commitment are all treated with contempt, disregarded, in order that they, we, might do as our lust-filled, self-seeking minds and bodies please.

You have been betrayed. Your love is seen as not good enough. How can a Perfect Love be not good enough? You are left shaking Your head in disbelief and in grief, asking of Yourself the question, how could this happen?

Though revealed here is our betrayal of You, Your passion and Your pursuit since the Garden is to have us come back into the intimacy of Your perfectly, satisfying love.

You open your arms (in fact they have never been closed), and invite us back. It is what Perfect Love does. You are not a man, You are God, and You will be faithful and true to who You are. To this truth, is my soul’s truest exclamation, Phew! I find here that sense of utter relief! Though my sin is great, though I return repeatedly to the same things, though I am ruined by sin, though I prostitute myself to other lovers willingly and waywardly, You do not give up on me. You do not treat me as my sin deserves. Your anger toward my sin is turned away, and in its place is a great compassion, a moving of Your heart towards this sin-filled loved one who is lost. You understand that in my humanity, I am absolutely corrupt and couldn’t turn to You. Any hint of impending judgment or doom is removed and I can rest here, knowing I am safe in Your love, because –

If You have not given up on Israel, You will not give up on me.

The human reaction would be to walk away. To give up. It’s too hard, They don’t deserve it, I’ve given it my best shot, That’s it, I’m done. Or in anger, demand justice for the offense and restitution for the pain caused.

Oh, I am so glad You are God, and not man that You would say,

“How can I give you up, Ephraim?
How can I hand you over, Israel?
How can I treat you like Admah?
How can I make you like Zeboiim?
My heart is changed within me; all my compassion is aroused.
I will not carry out my fierce anger,
Nor will I devastate Ephraim again.
For I am God, and not a man – the Holy One among you” (Hosea 11:8-9, NIV). 

These are incredibly beautiful words. You will be true to Yourself. Where other loves give up on me, Your love will never fail. Where mankind’s love would walk away, Your love holds on tight. Where people’s love would rage in anger, Your love continues in kindness and tenderness. Where their love would demand justice and would destroy, Your love forgives and gives second chances. Though Your heart grieves my ruin and the way I keep pursuing other lovers, and my rejection of the Perfect Love You offer, that same Perfect Love cannot abandon me or fail or forsake me.

Perfect Love sent a prophet who loved his prostitute bride with a faithful, unfailing love. Perfect Love continued to love though she returned again and again to her other lovers. Perfect Love paid the price of injustice and the anger of God towards sin, so that this Gomer, this Israel, this humanity, could know Love, and be redeemed and reclaimed and brought into it again – the place of completely satisfying love that we were created for, but which was robbed from us, and us from You, in the Garden.

Continued in next week’s blog…

 

[Hosea was a prophet of God to the nation of Israel. It is where much of this journey of love was awakened. His story is found in the Old Testament part of the Bible. Read more here.]